When Theo Came To Town

6:22 PM















He’s here! He’s here! And he’s perfect! Theo Trevor Hansen was born at 2:11 a.m. on February 15, 2018 coming in at 5 lbs 6 oz and 18 perfectly tiny inches long. The bullet points back story since I haven’t blogged in forever because I’ve been trying to survive:

Theo came along so quickly. We only had to try about 7 months and it was so redemptive to my soul and may have helped a bit with the giant infertility chip on my shoulder. I feel like he is my gift.

This pregnancy was as sick if not worse than Milo and Otto. I ended the most depleted this time. I’m now able to eat again, probably packing on weight at the speed of light, and I feel like a giant mental and physical fog has lifted immediately. 

I went into preterm labor at 33 weeks and 2 days and spent 5 days in the hospital. Everyone expected labor to pick right back up after finishing magnesium but it didn’t- miracle. I spent the next 3 weeks on bedrest and it worked like a charm- miracle. For those 3 weeks I was 5 cm dilated, 80% effaced, and -1 station. 

The night before Trevor had to-had to go back to work- no more sick days, no more paid time off- I started having regular contractions around 4 pm. I was 36 weeks and 3 days. They weren’t hurting terribly, just present and consistent. Milo my sweetest boy was letting me squeeze his hand, playing with my hair, and telling me to take a deep breath whenever I’d feel the sting and I just couldn’t even handle his calming sweetness. Around 8:30 I decided I’d better go get checked just to be safe. My babies come quick and I didn’t particularly want to give birth in my car. My neighbor sat with the boys while Trevor dropped me off at the hospital (things are different on kid 3) and my dad headed down to sleep with the boys. I felt dumb going in because I wasn’t in much pain and I’d been there just 3 weeks before, but the contractions were consistent enough and I was already dilated enough that I didn’t want to cut it too close just in case. 

I was 6 cm dilated by the time I got in, which didn’t surprise me- I’d had quite a few contractions throughout the week and I was sure I’d gradually dilated at least a little further. They decided to keep me (oh such music to my ears) and I kept having contractions that hurt a little, but they were definitely not the “ok I’m for sure in labor” kind that I’d had with the boys (and my pain tolerance is nothing to write home about- they really just weren’t that bad). So different. 

I stayed at a 6 for another few hours and started thinking I’d jumped the gun. I didn’t want to get my epidural until I really knew I was in labor and needing it- with both big boys, I was very much ready for the epidural when I got it. I dozed on and off through contractions without any problems. Around 1:15 a.m. the call doctor came in and said she was about to do a c section and that afterward maybe we could break my water and do the epidural to help labor pick up. I told her that sounded great and fell back asleep. 

At 1:45 a.m. out of nowhere I had the HARDEST contraction I have ever felt in my life. My mind was exploding it hurt so bad. I had another soon after and called the nurse in to let her know I’d be ready for the epidural ASAP. She told me that the anesthesiologist was still in the c section but that they were closing and suddenly it felt like an eternity before he’d arrive. She checked me again at about 1:55 and I was at a 7. One word flashed in my brain: TRANSITION. This was at about 2 a.m. In that moment I realized that this baby was coming and I was going to feel it all. 

I had these searing contractions for about 5 more minutes and I couldn’t tell the end of one to the beginning of the next.  During those 5 minutes my water broke and I could just barely get the words out to the nurse. She checked me again and said she couldn’t even feel my cervix anymore. I found myself saying “I want to push” and she told me to wait just a minute- I told her I HAVE to push and she made a call that we were about to have a nurse delivery. A bunch of nurses rushed in and one (the first one I saw when I came in for preterm labor 3 weeks before) stood right over me and told me to blow through the contractions. I. Was. Screaming. And I could not make myself stop. I was holding her ponytail and pulling on her jacket and screaming my lungs out and she is a saint. 

Side note: I’ve heard a lot of people have a very zen, at one with their body experience with natural birth. I cannot say this was my experience- but I also wasn’t overly prepared for it. In the back of my head I told myself all along to be mentally prepared because I knew it was a possibility with how quickly my deliveries have gone, but I didn’t do much beyond accept that it could happen. And it did happen. And there are definitely perks (walking right after delivery, no catheter, recovery has been great). But holy. I will be the first to say there are also perks to the epidural (not screaming your child into the world) and I’m about 50/50 on the fence about what I’ll do next time. I’m glad to have experienced it, and maybe after a couple of years I’ll be ready to do it again. I’ll let you know then. 

2 pushes. That’s all it took, and the nurse held up my perfect, tiny, pink, crying baby and I grabbed him and held him and sobbed. In that instant, it was all worth it. The thousands of times I’d thrown up in the last nine months. Every second spent laying on the couch barely living. It all flew out the window at the speed of light and paid off over and over and over again right then and there, and hasn’t stopped since. I was in a little bit of shock (20 minutes from 7 cm to “hi baby!” will do that to a girl) and just so beyond happy he was here. Safe. Healthy. Never leaving my arms again. Nothing but heaven in the room. 

At some point the doctor came in and I tore just slightly but didn’t even need stitches- SO AWESOME. I laid there with my sweet boy, he nursed within the first 30 minutes for a good long time, and I basked in the absolute pure, sweet joy that is meeting your baby on the outside. I’m in awe that having babies and raising children are things we get to do in life. It’s magic. And I’m never ever ever putting this little boy down. 

The boys are in love with him. They ask to hold him constantly and he brightens the mood in our home so much. Oh how in love we are with this sweet Theo.  

My Theo. He’s here. We made it. 

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2 comments

  1. Congratulations! Was your husband able to be there?! I don't think I caught that part!

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