Things That Matter

7:34 PM

I think I've read one too many depressing books about tough childhoods this year, because that combined with raising my own babies has me thinking about what I can do as a parent to help them feel safe and secure- both physically and emotionally. I'm not saying I do all or any of these things perfectly, but they're on my radar as I try to become the parent I want to be and that my boys deserve.

1- Follow through. If I tell my kids I'm going to do something, I'd better do it. Milo has forever been so trusting of me. When he was a baby and I'd tell him I'd be right back with something, he'd wait patiently until I went back. I realized then and there that I could never betray that trust. If I say I'll check on them, I do it. If I say they can have a drink after I finish something, I deliver. To me, this has been a way to build trust in a simple sense that will develop a lot deeper as we all get older.

2- Self esteem. This is something I've struggled with and I'm hypersensitive about it. I want them to know how loved and adored they are regardless of mistakes, outward appearance, struggles, talents, etc.

3- Spirituality. I think spirituality is a journey for every person on this earth, and I think you can be a devout anything and still have huge character flaws (I know I do). Above all, I want them to know that they're loved children of God. Everything else will fall into place.

4- Eye contact. They need to know that they matter. They alone have special rights to me and my attention and I will always honor that. "Can you play with me" will always be answered with a resounding yes (even if it's accompanied with "in x minutes").

5- This will always be a place of non judgement. I know my kids will make mistakes. I'm sure they will make big ones. I want them to know they can talk to me and I'll always be ready and waiting with love and constructive help when they're ready for that part.

6- Stability. We live and breathe by a routine and at this point doing otherwise would be an injustice to us all. We're flexible, and our routine is ever-evolving. But knowing what to expect works wonders for all of us.

As Milo gets older and more aware, parenthood becomes bigger and bigger to me. He's only 3-almost-4 right now, and I feel like there are too many things to prevent and teach. The best I can do is love my boys and teach them to be good, kind, charitable people. I can't keep out all the bad, but I can fill them with everything good I know.

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