On Letting Go1:11 PM
It don't have to hold onto it.
There are so many things that draw my attention away from what's important, that sap my energy with unnecessary negativity, and that keep me from doing what I really want to do. And yet, I feel almost obligated to stress and worry about the unimportant. But I'm somehow just starting to realize that I don't have to.
I don't have to dwell on the fact that my feelings got hurt and I didn't get an apology like I wanted.
And what's more, I don't have to be offended in the first place. Gasp!
I don't have to feel behind in life because my children aren't (and the future ones likely won't be) 18 months apart.
I don't have to constantly be fighting my natural body type to look like the social definition of "swimsuit ready".
I don't have to stay caught up on the goings-on in lives of everyone I do and do not know.
I don't have to feel obligated to have my actions and feelings validated.
I don't have to feel pressured to base my decisions off the opinions of others. I can let my baby wear footy jams in public because they're a heckuvalot easier than keeping socks on.
I don't have to be frustrated when I don't get time to myself in the evening like I hoped.
I don't have to feel like I need to complicate my makeup routine or get hair/lash extensions because it's trendy.
I don't have to pick up the toys at naptime AND bedtime.
My heart has never felt so free as when I have moments of realization that I can just let go. It's kind of a beautiful thing to prioritize, then reprioritize again and again. I guess this is one of those symptoms of aging and giving myself to my family. Now let's be clear here- I'm still working on accepting these truths. I'm not sure why, but ACTUALLY letting go is much more difficult some days than others. But my heart is starting to let me, and in some sweet moments of clarity, I feel free as a bird.