Pregnancy With Hyperemesis Gravidarum8:09 AM
When you're used to a pretty high energy, active life, admitting limitations isn't easy. A majority of the time I feel like the best I can do is drive hot wheels cars around while I lay on the floor, stare into space, and sleep (when I'm not heaving into the toilet). Caring for my family, shopping, cleaning, and even showering feel like Herculean tasks and I'm a complete shadow version of myself. At this point, I haven't jogged in 2 weeks and a 1.5 mile slow walk (more to kill time and keep a little blood flowing than anything else) is as good as I can muster while keeping my Milo alive and fed.
Every night I go to sleep and plan all the things I want to do tomorrow, like sweep the floor or make dinner or put on makeup. And every day, they don't happen. I hear and see what my other pregnant friends are capable of (splash parks! Baking cookies! The zoo!) and feel a massive guilt trip because the best I could do was sit by the wading pool or turn on the Turtle movie.
I feel a constant need to justify my wreck of a self to people because I'm REALLY not like this, you know? But today, finally, I'm allowing myself to accept what it is, face the fact that it's not going to get better, and recognize what a huge and necessary blessing it is to be with family and taking some time to breathe, sleep, and be taken care of because I officially can't do it on my own. The very best I can do is survive and grow this baby, and remember that at 26 weeks, there's the biggest and best kind of light approaching at the end of the tunnel.