Resistance

12:28 PM

Today I feel completely and utterly overwhelmed. In this moment, my child is crazy and I have no control over him or his behavior. I'm constantly chasing him around, keeping him out of everything, realizing the hoops we jump through just do to something simple like put on makeup or send an email or get him in the car. He's in a habit of whining at me for every little thing. Mi-hi-hi-hiiiiilk!!!! (And then suddenly he's not crying anymore when I remind him that all he has to say is milk please! That little fake cry switch will be the death of me, I tell you.) And then it's up and down and juice and milk and hungry and all done and as soon as I'm working on one thing he asked for, he's ready for the opposite.

He kicks me and injures me and jumps on my stomach and sometimes he makes me want to cry. And sometimes he makes me cry. I'm exhausted. I can't do it all. I hate more than anything to accept defeat- but I can't take him everywhere anymore, and right this second, I feel like I can't take him anywhere ever. We needed one dang thing at the store. I ran in, got him the fun cart (apparently the wrong one because he cried about that for the first half of the 5 second trip) and then he got mad because he wanted a drink of milk for the other 2.5 seconds. I'm losing. I fail at toddlerhood.

But then. Here's the thing. My agenda is clashing with his. Sometimes we're on the same page and we can both give a little. Other days he has not a thought in mind of cooperating, and I'm trying to get things done and it's all backfiring. I don't have some big epiphany to share today, other than the fact that sometimes being the mom is hard. It's the best, most favorite thing I've ever done, but the best things in life naturally come with some growing pains, some struggle, some resistance. So today is a day of accepting the resistance, of admitting that I'm being stretched outside of my comfort zone and that it doesn't all come naturally, and realizing that in many cases, there's not really some magic cure besides trial and error and making it through the inevitable tough days. My whole heart is in this motherhood journey, and when you're completely and fully invested and immersed in the one thing that is your whole life, it's bound to be a sometimes bittersweet learning process- but one that I'm more grateful for than I could ever say.

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1 comments

  1. i totalllyyyyy feel you momma! i think boys are SO rambunctious & hard at times .. these toddler years have definitely had some periods of the growing pains. there are good moments that make up for the bad for a minute. haha i just have to remember SOMEDAY he'll learn. & i have to keep teaching him. ugh good luck!! i 100% am on the same boat!!

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