Love Languages12:44 PM
Trevor and I are the busiest we have ever been in our entire marriage. We basically only see each other in passing and the only hanging out/dating we do is when we are both dead asleep at the end of the day. Our relationship is definitely not high in nurture and time together right now, which is fine for a while because that's our crazy life right now, but of course we need to still keep the love alive!
The basic ideas behind knowing your love languages that stuck out to me the most:
- When you know your love language, you realize how often you try to show your love through your own love language rather than maybe the one that would be best for them.
- By knowing your partner's love language, you are able to communicate your love in a way that they will understand it (rather than the way that may come most naturally to you that they may not understand or receive as well).
- It doesn't take much effort to try to develop the ability to "speak" in your partner's love language- little things go a long way, it just takes a tiny bit of thought!
Trevor's number 1 was physical touch, which was my number 4. This was interesting for a few reasons. I was surprised that it was so low for me. I love cuddle time just as much as the next girl, but apparently I need to hear that he loves me (and my number 2 was acts of service- so a little help cleaning up clearly goes a little further with me ;). Also, it's not always ultra-intimate... just cuddling up to him for a minute when I walk in the door can speak volumes. This also taught me that when Trevor grabs my butt randomly in the kitchen, maybe he's actually trying to tell me something instead of be obnoxious!? Who knew?!
It's been really eye opening what a huge difference a few little things can make. Trevor is killing it in the words of affirmation department, and all it's taken is a couple of text messages this week ("the kitchen looks great" and "I love you babe"... I was on cloud 9!) as well as a few extra words when we're together, and not only is he totally doing it right, but it means a ton that I can tell he's trying. I'm being more cuddly, sitting still with him, being close... it doesn't mean we're getting busy all day every day, and you'd be amazed what a little hand holding can do. Just having it on our radars and making a tiny bit more effort is waking us up so much as a couple and helping us both feel the love even though we are the most busy we've ever been in life, and it's just what we were needing. We are more on the same page and it was such a simple realization.