Guest Post: Kimber Cutler5:00 AM
Kimber is one of my favorite people I met in college. She is always sweet, happy, kind, and talented as all get out. I mean this girl can decorate! And bake! And she always dresses so cute! I love her, and I love EVERYTHING she has to say about body image. AMEN, girl!
what an iceberg of a phrase. two little words with such a mountain of weight underneath that you can't see.
fortunately for me, i had the most amazing mother to brainwash me with good thoughts about myself, without knowing she was brainwashing me.
never once did i hear my mother say negative things about herself. after realizing this months ago, i have vowed to never criticize body, looks, beauty in front of my children. i will be their best role model. but my mother had confidence in herself and in her appearance. she never spent an overly amount of fussy time turning herself from morning cherri to daytime cherri to nighttime cherri, she was naturally beautiful for sure. i was the lucky one to benefit from this woman. but how did she get this way?
nevertheless i'm going to try.
i'd be a liar if i said i wasn't a confident gal. that doesn't mean i don't have my own personal flaws i'm working on and criticizing myself isn't a hurdle i'm continually working on, but i've definitely gotten better at reigning in the negativity by following these 4 steps:
1. embrace yourself. why are we always our worst critic. it's so stupid! if i loved myself like my husband loved me or my mother loved me, i think i would be the happiest girl in the world. they don't criticize that one pimple on myself. they don't judge me against that pinterest fitness mom. i am me and they accept that. the sky is blue, that's just the way it is, we don't look at the sky and say "i wish it were green, is there someway to change it to green?" NO!!! the sky is beautiful blue! we are all different and that's not bad. embrace who you are and love it
2. stop comparing yourself to x. oh the possibilities of x. you in high school. you when you got married. you after you had the flu for 2 weeks. your friend next door. your new sister in law. that mom at the park. that girl who's the same amount of weeks pregnant as you. just stop it. comparison is truly the thief of joy and it's so stupid. enjoy your stage of life. sure have goals but use those goals like a point on a measuring stick that someday you hope to grow to reach. but don't let that measuring stick be the beating stick. which brings me to my next point,
3. love you/love life. "love is all you need, love is all you need! love is all you need, love is all you need!" ok, no, but really it's true. if you're determined to leave those negative thoughts behind and embrace you, love you, you will be happy and all your minute concerns about yourself will be put on the back burner. if you are enjoying life, and even better making an effort to enjoy your life, you will love you. you will love life, it may be a process but it will happen. just keep chugging on that path of love.
4. flatter your figure. since we are talking about body image here we have to get a little materialistic over here. i can't even start to explain how much more confident i am when i wear clothes that nicely fit me instead of squeezing into kimber's pre-baby/ pre-marriage clothes. talk about debbie downer in your closet. get rid of those dang clothes that don't look good on you/don't flatter you anymore. i remember when i was 6 months pregnant i went through my whole closet and put all the clothes that would grow with me the next 3 months to left and everything else to the right. i didn't look at the right side of my closet until 3 months postpartum. best choice i made fashion wise during all those months. flatter your figures ladies, embrace your figures, and get rid of anything that does otherwise.
i know we've heard this mumbo jumbo about body image a lot before, but it's true. so do it. just try to start doing it.
you are a beautiful blue sky. a blue sky in the arizona desert is different than that of a blue sky by the ocean, but you know what, i love both. let that blue sky shine, don't hide behind the clouds, let the sun flatter your beautiful blue sky.