Lots of Babies: A Disclaimer8:12 PM
If you haven't figured it out by now, I have a habit of oversharing and running my mouth about my personal life. I have a feeling it drives plenty of people crazy/ drives plenty of people to think I'm crazy (but let's be honest, I'm not denying it ;)). All I can say is there's more where that came from in the days and months and years to come. I like to talk about my feelings and thoughts and experiences to people that I know, and I've always been an open book. Having a sounding board does a lot for me, and I appreciate the reassurance and support that we can offer each other. And I think that we can help each other through experiences and life and all our mutual craziness. And really, if I'm going to go through life, I'd rather have a village, you know?
The next piece of this baby story, of course, is the part where I assure you that I'm not in love with Milo and motherhood in a "yay me, I'm so awesome" kind of way. Generally in life, I'm TERRIBLE with change. I do not cope well. But this is the one change I was so much more than ready for. I had time to think about what motherhood would imply. I had experiences that prepared me for the reality. And I had a breaking heart because every day as I got ready for work, all I wanted was to be a mom. And every day since I've had Milo, I've had a hundred reaffirmations that I was born for this. This is my point in life. There is nothing that has ever been more fulfilling to me or natural to me than to be a mother, and for that I am so thankful. So many things don't come naturally to me, and I was afraid that this wouldn't, and I thank God every day that it actually did, probably more so than anything I've ever done in my life.
I often realize just how non-glamourous Motherhood can be. I know I only have one baby right now, but I realize already that diapers and spills and pukes and loads of laundry can add up really quickly. And I've been tired. So, so tired. Plenty of times. And this is only with one! I'm far from the perfect mom that has it all together, and I spend a majority of the time in sweat pants. But I've never felt more beautiful than I do with a baby on my hip. I feel like I'm on top of the world with this little one. He is me. We don't go anywhere without each other. He wants me and I want him. We are inseparable and best friends and I wouldn't have it any other way.