Puke-tastic

12:09 PM

There is something wrong with my genetic code.  Somewhere along those strands of DNA I inherited the puke gene.  So did my kids.  So did my siblings.  It really is a hereditary thing.  

It sucks.

I have more "puke stories" than anyone else I know, except maybe Danielle, but we probably tie. 

Since marrying my husband 7.5 years ago I have thrown up hundreds of times.  Really.  Between 5 pregnancies (2 miscarriages) and many bouts with the flu I feel like I puke constantly.   How many times has my husband thrown up in that same time period? One.  Yes, just one.  Now granted he hasn't been pregnant, but he lives in the same house as me and is exposed to the same germs as me and guess who pukes? Me.

See, it's genetic.

My poor, poor children are manifesting the same tendencies.  We've been cleaning up throw-up about once a week for the last month due to random ailments that my kids have had.  I swear, other than my friends who have kids with real, serious illnesses, my kids puke more than anyone else I know.  

It's gross.  I know it's gross.  This whole post is gross. 

Why, you may ask, did I choose this topic for today?  Because, on Monday night I was at the gym.  I dropped the kids off at the child care.  Not 2 minutes later I was paged over the loud speaker.  Colton, the 22-month-old, had just puked all over one of the child care workers.  Lovely.  I was mortified.  Usually my kids puke on me, or the car, or their beds, or the floor, but they've never puked on someone else.  If I didn't love the gym so much I would never go back.  But I love it there.  I plan to buy that poor girl an "I'm sorry my kid puked on you" present.

And so the puking gene continues to be passed down through the generations.  We're so lucky!

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6 comments

  1. This is hilarious! I'm sorry to laugh at your misfortune though! I am cracking up. Title rocks, and the story is too funny. I think I have a semi-puke gene. I go through phases where I puke a lot then don't do it for months. Sounds weirds, but true!

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  2. I'm sorry but this is a funny story! :) You poor thing, I HATE puking. Lucky for me, I rarely do.

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  3. I'm so sorry that you have this problem. You need some of my genes! I literally haven't thrown up in 13 years!

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  4. I am a puker too and my boys 4 got it. Poor Bennett threw up 4 times the other night and it broke my heart. Let me know when you figure out the gift, I am sure I will have to use it in the future ;)

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  5. I was a puker during pregnancy, but my sister is a puker all the time. There is even a certain kind of blanket that some hotel rooms have that makes her puke! Yeah, we make fun of her about it a lot:)

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  6. As horrible as it is to say, that is actually rather funny.. disgusting but funny :) I would be pretty mortified if it happened to me. But, as you said, if I liked the place enough I would definitely be going back! I'm very thankful to not have the puking gene, it sounds like no fun!

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